an end
there’s an end
an end to un-end
there’s an end that won’t end
unending, abiding ending

a break
there’s a break
a break that won’t take a break
it just keeps breaking
unbroken earth quaking
constant cracking
its nerve-wrecking

a death
there’s a death
each breath, his last breath
a death that won’t die
no rules to abide by
it keeps dying
all over every morning
it keeps dying
there’s no denying
keeps trying
it keeps dying

a soldier
there’s a soldier
a soldier in peace
a soldier in peace and war
a soldier in peace in a war,
in a war that’s long gone
long gone
too late to act on

but he’ll stand guard
he’ll stand guard in a war that’s long gone
he’ll stand guard night & day
no trespassing at the gateway
he’ll stand guard in his head night & day
in his head
he fled in his head
he fled night & day
in his head everything’s delayed

he had a chance,
he says he missed it
well, he still does
his last, lost, missed
his last, his only
chance to feel
something real

it’s all over he says
this over is all over
an eternal hangover
this over
is not ever

this unending end
this perpetuated dying
this imaginary war
a commemoration
of a chance blown
of something real
of a life not alone
a chance blown
of a life not alone

and then there’s hope
a tightrope
you can’t do that
you’re not saint nor an acrobat
you can’t put your hope in the past
but he did just that
he put it back in time
not to leave it behind
but to keep it safe
to keep it true
like a taboo
to have something
to sustain
an indefinite
to remain

again and again
in that moment of unending ending
where the past continues to die
where all that needs mending is forever pending
he chose to stay there
to repair, to repair
to prepare
a prayer
for all things that need mending
a prayer, like this, unending
he gave up on everything
except giving up on everything

©2020 Bálint Rádóczy